Here to Create
When I sit down and look back at life, I realise that there were so many things that I loved, but somehow I stopped doing them altogether.
“It’s a part of growing up they said.
You just stop getting time for yourself.”
I went from studying in school, coming home & playing outside, watching TV, pursuing your hobbies, working on the brand new computer to learn, reading before sleeping and still sleeping for 8 hours at least to to working at random hours, procrastinating at everything, binge watching online series, ignoring myself, being lazy and not sleeping at all.
I always thought that the freedom of choice will enable me and make me better. It will allow me to explore and learn far greater things than I am currently doing. The freedom will bring with itself the power to wield it an use it well.
But now I see that it is quite the contrary. Without the willpower, without the fear, without the drive all I have been doing is move towards mediocrity.
No wonder everyone says that the childhood was their best time. You could achieve anything as kids, because they invested time in growing yourself.
I invested time in growing myself. I was a better person back then, compared to who I have been lately.
I think it’s time I changed that, I think it’s time that I opened up my eyes and saw myself for what I am now. It’s time that I stop dwelling on my successes in the past to make me feel good. It’s time that I pick up myself and invest time in being a lot more me than anything else. It’s time I choose to be better.
This charcoal artwork is the first step towards that.
I loved being able to create. It didn’t matter to me what I made, or how I made it. To be able to create something out of nothing, learning and developing new skills to make that happen. To have the conviction to not give up and bring an idea to reality. That’s what I am, that is what sets me apart from everyone else. And that is what I am going to build myself as again. I don’t want to end up in a life of mediocrity, I want to dream big. Bigger than I have ever dreamt of. I want to be the best possible version of myself and even then make myself better.
And that’s what I am gonna do from here on.